When you're caring for someone with dementia, few things are more frustrating than hearing the same question over and over again. “When are we going out?” might sound like a simple, reasonable query—but when it’s asked five, ten, or even fifteen times in an hour, it can quickly wear you down.
Repetitive questioning is one of the most common—and challenging—behaviors faced by family caregivers. And while it may feel personal or intentional, it’s not. Your loved one isn’t trying to annoy you. They simply can’t remember the answer you gave them moments ago.
Understanding the why behind repetitive questions—and learning how to respond effectively—can help reduce stress for both of you and foster a calmer, more compassionate caregiving environment.
At the heart of repetitive questions is memory loss. As dementia progresses, short-term memory becomes increasingly impaired. This means your loved one may not remember:
But it’s more than memory—it’s often emotion. Repetitive questions can be rooted in:
Recognizing the emotional trigger behind the question can help you respond with greater empathy and patience.
While it’s tempting to snap or say, “I already told you,” that kind of response only increases your loved one’s anxiety and confusion. Instead, try these calming, dementia-friendly communication strategies:
Respond in a gentle, steady tone. Reassurance and kindness go a long way toward easing anxiety. Even if you’ve answered the question multiple times, your warm tone helps them feel safe.
Visual cues can provide grounding. Try writing the answer on a whiteboard, a sticky note, or a large-print sign. For example:“We are going to the doctor at 3:00 this afternoon.”Then when the question comes again, you can gently say: “Check the board on the fridge—it’s written there for you.”
Sometimes, the environment unknowingly prompts questions. For example:
Try to keep cues like "going out" clothes hidden until it’s nearly time to leave.
People with dementia often have difficulty with abstract time. Instead of mentioning an appointment days or even hours in advance, wait until closer to the event—like 30–60 minutes before leaving—to minimize anxiety and repeated questioning.
Having a task to focus on can be a helpful distraction. Keep a short list of “comfort tasks” on hand, such as:
These small actions can soothe restlessness and promote a sense of purpose.
You’re human. If you feel your patience slipping, it’s okay to step out of the room for a few minutes. Take deep breaths. Call a friend. Stretch. Recenter. Then return when you feel calmer. Your well-being matters, too.
Repetitive questions may seem minor at first, but over time they can take a toll on your emotional health. That’s where geriatric care managers (GCMs) come in.
At LiveWell, our experienced GCMs:
Whether you need help structuring the day or managing your own caregiver burnout, we’re here to provide expert guidance and compassionate care planning.
📞 Reach Out for Expert Dementia Support Today
If repetitive questions are wearing you down, you don’t have to face it alone. LiveWell’s dedicated care managers specialize in dementia-related behaviors and are here to support you every step of the way.
