Holiday Visits Can Reveal Hidden Struggles: 4 Warning Signs Your Aging Parent May Need Help

The holidays are often filled with joy, cherished traditions, and precious time spent with the people we love. Whether it’s gathering around the dinner table, exchanging stories from years past, or simply enjoying each other’s presence, these moments offer deep emotional connection—especially for families separated by distance. For adult children visiting aging parents, the holiday season brings more than just celebration; it also presents a unique and vital opportunity to observe how well your loved one is truly managing in their day-to-day life.

In the rush of long-distance phone calls or quick check-ins throughout the year, it’s easy to miss the gradual changes that can occur as someone ages. But when you're physically present—staying under the same roof or spending several hours together—you’re more likely to notice things that might otherwise be hidden: the way they move through their home, the condition of their living space, the food in the fridge, their appearance, their mood, and how they engage with others. These quiet cues can speak volumes.

What may initially appear to be small changes—a stack of unopened mail, a messy kitchen, or missed medications—can actually signal deeper challenges like cognitive decline, mobility issues, or depression. While these realizations can be difficult and even emotional, they also open the door to timely intervention. By recognizing the early signs of struggle, families have the chance to offer support before a crisis occurs. This can mean the difference between helping your loved one age safely in place or facing an emergency down the line.

Being mindful and observant during holiday visits is one of the most loving things you can do for an aging parent. It allows you to gather a clearer picture of their health and well-being and opens up important conversations about care, independence, and safety.

Here are four critical red flags to look out for when visiting older family members during the holidays.

1. Changes in the Home Environment

A person’s home can tell a powerful story about their well-being. Take note of any of the following:

• ‍Disrepair or neglect: Peeling paint, broken appliances, burned-out light bulbs, or signs of damage inside or outside the home.‍
• Clutter and cleanliness: An increase in accumulated items, dirty dishes, overflowing trash, or unusually messy living spaces—especially in the kitchen or bathroom.‍
• Unopened mail: A large buildup of envelopes may point to missed bills or cognitive challenges.‍
• Car damage: New dents or scratches could indicate driving issues or reduced reaction time.

These indicators may suggest that your loved one is having trouble managing daily tasks or maintaining a safe living environment.

2. Food and Nutrition Issues

Nutrition is a core component of healthy aging, but it’s often overlooked until problems become serious. Check for:

• ‍Insufficient or spoiled food: Look inside the refrigerator and pantry for expired items or a general lack of food.‍
• Weight loss or frailty: If your loved one appears thinner or more tired than usual, it may indicate they're skipping meals or unable to prepare nutritious ones.

If your parent is struggling with grocery shopping, cooking, or eating regularly, they may need additional support at home.

3. Shifts in Mood or Behavior

Emotional and cognitive changes can often go unnoticed—until you're physically present to see them firsthand.

• ‍Withdrawal from activities: Loss of interest in hobbies or social connections is a red flag.‍
• Confusion or repetition: Difficulty following conversations or repeating the same questions may point to memory issues.‍
• Unusual financial behavior: Be alert to new “friends” or organizations asking for repeated donations or large gifts.‍
• Mood changes: Signs of sadness, irritability, or apathy may indicate depression or early dementia.

If something feels “off” emotionally or mentally, it’s worth exploring further with a healthcare or elder care professional.

4. Decline in Personal Hygiene and Physical Appearance

Poor hygiene or unexplained bruises could mean your loved one is struggling with daily self-care or experiencing falls.

• ‍Unkempt appearance: Wearing the same clothes repeatedly, not dressing appropriately for the day, or a general lack of grooming.‍
• Body odor or soiled clothing: These may be signs of skipped bathing or laundry.‍
• Bruises or limping: Indicators of balance issues, falls, or mobility concerns.

These issues not only impact dignity but also pose serious health and safety risks.

How Geriatric Care Managers Can Help

If you’ve noticed any of these red flags during your holiday visit, don’t ignore them. A geriatric care manager, also known as an Aging Life Care Professional®, can provide expert insight and guidance to help you determine the next steps.

Geriatric care managers assess an older adult’s living situation, medical needs, cognitive health, and safety, then create a personalized care plan. They help coordinate services like in-home care, medical appointments, and home modifications—relieving stress for family members and ensuring loved ones receive the best possible support.

Whether you live nearby or far away, having a trusted professional on your side can give you peace of mind and help your loved one maintain independence with dignity.

Get Peace of Mind After the Holidays

If your holiday visit raised concerns about your aging parent’s safety, health, or ability to live independently, now is the time to take action. It's common for adult children to notice changes in their loved ones during seasonal gatherings—especially if you haven't seen them in a while. Whether it's subtle shifts like increased forgetfulness or more serious issues like poor hygiene or home disrepair, these red flags are often signs that your parent is struggling more than they let on. And while these realizations can be emotional or even overwhelming, you don’t have to navigate them alone.

At LiveWell, we understand how difficult it can be to balance concern for your parent with the responsibilities of your own life. That’s where our experienced geriatric care managers come in. We offer professional, compassionate guidance to help you understand what’s really going on and what your options are. From in-home assessments and care planning to coordinating services and monitoring long-term needs, we’re here to be your eyes, ears, and hands—whether you live nearby or across the country.

📞 Contact LiveWell today to schedule a free initial consultation and discover how our experienced care managers can support you and your loved ones—during the holidays and beyond. Taking the first step now can make all the difference in helping your parent age safely, comfortably, and with dignity. Let us help you bring clarity, support, and peace of mind to the road ahead.